peace and health to you and yours
i’ve been whining about how my holiday time will just be stuck at home. no travel, no adventure, nothing. i thought for a minute that C and i were going to get each other a roomba as our joint holiday gift and it made me so sad that i cried in a target. (and flipped off the teens who were looking at me. teens, some day you will know adult exhaustion!)
then, this weekend, we had a series of catastrophes - i fell in a parking lot and bruised a nerve in my arm (is that even a thing? who knew that was a thing!!) and am now not supposed to lift anything with my arm, including the baby. THEN, both C and i got the stomach flu, like bad bad very bad, like 101 fever for 2 days, had to send the baby to my parents because we could not care for her at all, couldn’t even try to eat for days.
if this was all a grand lesson to teach me to treasure quiet time with family and friends and to be grateful for the love i have in my life and not long for adventure - it worked. but i could use a less thorough lesson next time, universe.
(i’m sure the 35 christmas-themed hallmark movies i’ve watched from my sickbed have influenced my increased holiday spirit as well.)
shinyloud 75
- allie x - cassanova
- amber mark - heatwave
- cam - diane
- dawn richard - stopwatch
- fergie- tension
- julia michaels - uh huh
- kah-lo - fasta
- kelsea ballerini - miss me more
- khia - next caller
- kita klane - salt
- labrinth - misbehaving
- malu trevejo - luna llena
- miss world - click and yr mine
- MK - 17
- nadia rose - big woman
- oliva holt - generous
- shekhinah - suited
- sophie - it’s ok to cry
- wolf alice - yuk foo
i need better mom friends. i tried to make some. i went to a mom group. i went on mom dates with moms from mom groups. i hate making new friends and i generally don’t like people so this was hard, but i did it, because i knew it would be important. but i didn’t really find anyone i clicked with.
this whole experience is so isolating. i often feel alone and like i’m doing extremely important work with little to no information or guidance. there are so many new feelings and ideas.
i want more help and more companionship.
uber, but for someone to come to where you are so you can punch them in the face
i am so furious at the world this morning that i cannot concentrate on work at all. this feels like the default state of being in the united states in 2017.
angry tweets only get out so much rage. calling my senator is a fucking joke. donating money helps a little. but this rage! so much rage. so much rage.
another fantastic/deeply terrifying article from ronan farrow about how weinstein was able to keep his identity as a serial predator and abuser secret, even while continuing his pattern of behavior. hint: he was greatly helped by having power and money, which allowed him to influence a law enforcement and justice system already set up to protect people with power, strong arming women into signing settlement agreements with NDAs so nobody ever knew how many women had accused him of the same behavior. special shout out to the new york district attorney’s office for being next-level shitheads.
this is not one bad guy. this is one bad guy surrounded and supported by a system designed to protect him from any consequences.
this song is still super sick and amanda blank’s verse is pure fire.
work just took me out fo fried chicken sandwiches and ice cream, we got to eat outside because it’s nice and sunny, things are looking up.
not a great day
definitely getting a cold
car battery died at the gas station on the way to work this morning
nobody’s at work so why’d i drive down here anyway
people are bringing adoption into discussions of TERFs in a way that assumes that adoptive parents are treated exactly the same as birth parents and nobody ever questions the mother-ness of adoptive moms
men are trash
SOLUTION: listen to amanda blank album “i love you” as loud as possible and rap along to the best of my remembrance!
State laws that prohibit persons subject to IPV-related restraining orders from possessing firearms and also require them to relinquish firearms in their possession were associated with 9.7% lower total IPH rates (95% CI, 3.4% to 15.5% reduction) and 14.0% lower firearm-related IPH rates (CI, 5.1% to 22.0% reduction) than in states without these laws. Laws that did not explicitly require relinquishment of firearms were associated with a non–statistically significant 6.6% reduction in IPH rates.
there’s no information in the article about how these laws affected other crime rates - such as mass shootings - but that’d be interesting to see also. (although they’re such rare events there’s probably not the statistical power to pick it up.) anyway, relinquishment enforcement feels important right now.
The gunman behind a rampage in Northern California was out on bail charged with stabbing a neighbor, others had complained about him firing hundreds of rounds from his house, and he had been the subject of a domestic violence call the day before the attack.
Yet Kevin Neal was free and able to use a semi-automatic rifle and two handguns Tuesday to shoot 14 people, killing four, in seven different locations across his rural community, including an elementary school, before he died in a shootout with police.
Yet you can feel the backlash brewing. All it will take is one particularly lame allegation — and given the increasing depravity of the charges, the milder stuff looks lamer and lamer, no matter how awful the experience — to turn the tide from deep umbrage on behalf of women to pity for the poor, bullied men. Or one false accusation could do it. One man unfairly fired over a misinterpreted bump in the elevator could transform all of us women into the marauding aggressors, the men our hapless victims.
MSNBC’s Mike Barnicle, himself once having been returned to power after a plagiarism scandal, has mourned publicly for the injury done to his friend and former colleague Mark Halperin, who got canned after being accused of pushing his penis against younger female subordinates: “He deserves to have what he did deplored,” Barnicle declared. “But does he deserve to die? How many times can you kill a guy?”
A powerful white man losing a job is a death, and don’t be surprised if women wind up punished for the spate of killings.
Many men will absorb the lessons of late 2017 to be not about the threat they’ve posed to women but about the threat that women pose to them. So there will be more — perhaps unconscious — hesitancy about hiring women, less eagerness to invite them to lunch, or send them on work trips with men; men will be warier of mentoring women.
Sure, good liberal thinkers will go to their sexual-harassment seminars and do all the things they should be doing. But ultimately, this is a cover-your-ass moment, not a change-the-rules moment.
whistle-notes